Who doesn’t love a recommendation from a friend or a list of resources from a colleague? See below for a variety of resources and recommendations from podcasts and books to recipes and activities.
EMERGE with Me!
After a few months of looking inward, focusing on family, working on projects in the home, and creating my Immunity Gardens, I am ready to emerge from the cocoon that I so happily created around myself. Just as anxiety plagued folks when they were forced to stay home or change habits because of COVID-19, anxiety can also accompany re-entering the world, albeit with a mask and social distancing.
I have created a challenge called “EMERGE” to help myself and others create a structure and action steps for emerging from our hunkering down period.
I will be revealing challenges or assignments every few days, and I hope that you will find them engaging and helpful. Some of us thrive with accountability and “gold stars.”
For Accountability & Gold Stars
Print the checklist and color in the gray boxes and write how you’ve completed the challenge .
Post your progress (e.g. before/after) or your checklist on Insta or FB with hashtags such as #emergefromcocoon or #changehappens. Feel free to tag me!
Text me (205-427-4549) with a pic or a description of your progress!
Assignment #1
E is for ENTRANCE
We are ENTERING summer, the season of light and bright colors. Summer Solstice gives us hope for the future!
HOME - What can you do to make the entrance to your home more appealing? Clean, brighten, sweep, organize, hang a picture or mirror. Change a lightbulb. Check the front porch. Does it need flowers or a new doormat? Wipe down the outside of the front door.
SOCIAL MEDIA - As people enter onto your FB, Insta, or LinkedIn, what do they see? Change the picture to be a fresher, more vibrant you!
CAR - As you enter your car, what do your senses tell you? Do you need a clean-out? Does it need a better smell - try a bar of soap in your side pocket for a fresh scent that isn't overpowering - or a dryer sheet. Fill your car with gas; get your oil changed and your windshield wiper fluid filled if needed. We are entering a new season, and it's time to get ready.
Assignment #2
M is for MAKE
Fill in the blank after the word MAKE in order to customize the next day or two with what you need or want to do to make life better for yourself.
Here are some ideas:
Make an appointment (e.g. hair, checkup, colonoscopy, mammogram, nails, massage, attorney, financial advisor, or with me!)
Make a payment or donation ( to a cause, to your alma mater, to your place of worship, credit card, mortgage or rent, to the housekeeper who hasn’t worked, to your own savings account, to your IRA, to your kids’ college fund).
Make a mess (cook, garden, paint).
Make love (no description provided on this one!).
Make the world a better or more beautiful place (Read/Watch Miss Rumphius and how she planted lupines.)
Make an order to make life easier (Imperfect Foods or Hello Fresh - special deals with these links.)
Make a decision (an especially good one for those of us who are prone to procrastinate.)
Make the announcement - that thing you’ve been nervous about sharing with friends and family.
You have so many choices! If you want more ideas, Google “make” or “make your” or “make a” and see what pops up!
I can’t wait to see how you finish this - Make _____ .
Time to get started!
Change happens. I wasn’t kidding.
So, how are you?
When I am asked that question, if I take a moment to really reflect, I am tempted to say I feel as though I am in a labyrinth. I wind around and turn, determined to move forward, and at times I think I am right back to a spot very close to where I was earlier. I know I am heading toward something, but I am unsure how long it will take to get there, and I don’t even know exactly what the “there” is. I have faith that the center of the labyrinth actually exists and will be good. I keep going forward. This is forward, right? I am heading toward the new normal.
20 Habits While Winding Toward the New Normal
Make up the bed and get dressed in real clothes.
Have a specific “start time” every day.
Watch the news one time a day. Don’t over-indulge in the news of the hour.
Walk outside every day even if it is raining.
Take a picture of something beautiful or unusual outside and share it.
Make a list of household tasks each day.
Make a list of work tasks or a schedule each day.
Connect with others every day through FaceTime, social media, texting, phoning, and writing notes.
Remember to be kind, considerate, and patient with those stuck in the house with you. (This may be the hardest one on the list.)
Practice yoga and/or exercise.
Pray, meditate, and read inspirational words.
Find some whimsy in each day - a joke, a funny meme, a silly video. LAUGH!
Find ways to be creative - crochet, doodle, paint, color, cook, move furniture, dance.
Remember to eat your vegetables.
Drink water, and limit caffeine and alcohol.
Do a little laundry every day.
Learn something new - a game, a recipe, a dance move, a skill.
When possible, make your food look a little fancy with a garnish or special plate.
Listen, read, or watch something new and different
Acknowledge your feelings and list the ways you want to feel each day.
How are you doing in these very strange times? In our house, the people count and animal count have doubled. From our dining room, our daughters work and learn and Zoom. Leo, the dog, and Rex, our grand-cat, have figured out which one gets the chair and which one gets the sofa.
Our son remains in Oregon finishing his senior thesis and his (now) online classes.
For the past thirty years or so, I have listened to audiobooks - from tapes to CDs to the internet. If you, your students, children, or grandchildren love to hear stories or books, here are two possibilities for you:
1. Audible is making FREE hundreds of children's books in many different languages for kids - from preschool to high school. You can access these audio books by going to stories.audible.com. Take a look at the list - maybe one of your kids' assigned books is on there. Classics that adults may enjoy are on there, as well.
2. I love to read to children and I do love a conversation! I'm available (via Zoom or Facetime) to have conversations and read with folks from children and families to educators and other professionals figuring out this new normal. If you know of someone or a small group who would like this, please share this link, which will allow scheduling on my calendar: https://calendly.com/kathryn-coach/45-minute-phone-zoom-meeting.
As you navigate these days, here are a couple of posts you might find useful:
20 Things I'm Doing In Light of the Virus
We are all doing the best we can these days. If you work with or care for children in person or online, thank you. They are our future, and indeed, our present. If I can be of any help, please let me know. Please feel free to share this post. Hang in there. This too shall pass.
Are you staying home these days? Practicing social distancing? Husband, law school daughter, and I are staying home together - mostly. We work from our computers and phones. We take walks with Leo, the dog, photograph signs of spring, and cook.
We watch the news.
Yesterday, we drove to Narrangansett Beach where we picnicked in our coats and then walked along the beach — keeping our distance from other people. How refreshing to see the waves and surfers in dry suits, feel the sunshine and breeze, and hear the gulls’ cries.
When we returned from the beach, I poured a glass of wine, reflected on our first full day of social distancing, and thought about what the week (month? two months?) had in store. I thought about those of you who have kids at home from elementary school or college or law school like me. I thought about my friend whose son is in Eastern Europe on a Fulbright and hasn’t found a way back to the USA yet. I thought about my daughter’s friend who cut her Kazakhstan trip short a day before the borders closed. I thought about my dad who is undergoing chemo. I thought about my sister, a doctor. I thought about my HIV-positive friend.
Overwhelm.
So, I simplified my list of things to do -
Take care of your physical health.
Take care of your mental health.
Help others.
My day had been filled with the first two, so in my pursuit of helping others (and in turn making me feel good about offering up some help) I came up with a “Stay At Home Bingo” to share.
CLICK HERE FOR STAY AT HOME BINGO
While I take this virus and the recommendations incredibly seriously, I needed something slightly lighthearted. Check it out and see if you think it might help you and yours. You can also create your own with myfreebingocards.com if you want to customize it for your particular situation.
At the end of the day (or week or month or 2 months) the main Bingo squares are -
Take care of your physical health.
Take care of your mental health.
Help others.
AND REMEMBER…THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Several of the women in my family wear “THIS TOO SHALL PASS” bracelets every single day to remind us to appreciate the good times, to stay in the moment, and to know that the difficult times will pass.
I’m not a doctor or a scientist, but I am a person of reasonable intelligence. I hesitate to give recommendations (with the exception of #20) in this time when everyone has become an expert, but I will share the twenty things I am doing.
Washing my hands like crazy.
Using a hand towel only a couple of times for drying OR using a paper towel.
Stocking the house with tissues because if we get it, we’re most likely to have cold symptoms.
Making sure we keep the basic foods on hand because if workplaces or educational institutions close, we may have more mouths to feed and more meals at home.
Making sure the special young people in our lives who are in schools close by know that they can hole up here as long as we are all symptom free. I have asked them to bring whatever groceries they have on hand, though!
Keeping sheets and towels washed and ready for guests.
Using the sanitize cycle on the dishwasher.
Wiping knobs, rails, and other surfaces more frequently.
Opening the windows during the warmest part of the day.
Keeping a crockpot of water on high all the time to help moisten the air.
Organizing the bathroom cabinet with labels so that anyone staying with us can find OTC medicine, tissues, extra toothbrushes, etc.
Mailing cards of hello to friends and family (This is a good time to cheer someone up!) and using a glue stick for sealing the envelope. No saliva!
Texting family members pictures, jokes, and family updates to give them something besides the virus to think about.
Getting more sleep than usual since my immune system and mood are directly linked to my sleep.
Walking 2-3 times a day and not going to the gym or yoga classes.
Avoiding crowds and gatherings.
Preparing meals that are nutritious - lots of green veggies.
Making sure we have a few non-essential happies at home - cake mix, brownie mix, and a special bone for Leo, the dog.
Keeping up with the science and trying very hard to avoid the political news about it.
Recommending you get your flu shot if you haven’t already.
Schedule your 2020 vision call.
Do you like numbers, occasions that mark beginnings, and lists? If so, you will want to go ahead and start on your 2020 Vision. Whether you typically make New Year’s Resolutions or not, let’s play with this number 2020 together! This is our year to have fun with the number, 2020, to have a fresh beginning, and to start our lists to create the best year ever. I’m offering 20 free 2020 Vision calls so that you can get started on your own 20 for 2020. I can’t wait to get these calls started! Schedule your 2020 Vision call before the 20 spaces are filled!
Cultivate resilience by making some easy and positive changes in a normally traditional area. Think holidays! Your holidays will change at some point whether you like it or not. Make a small change this year and every year to create a new mindset of around tradition and flexibility.
Here are some of my favorite ways to change up the holidays:
Add a new dish to the menu.
Take a non-traditional photo.
Send out Valentines instead of cards in December.
Celebrate in a different location.
Invite someone from another country to celebrate with you. Check with local schools and universities to see if they have students who would love to experience your traditions.
#1 The number one holiday office party rule is very simple: GO!
#2 Don't drink too much.
#3 Carry on non-work conversations.
#4 Talk to your boss and your boss's boss.
#5 If spouses are present, make conversations with them, too. These conversations may present good networking possibilities, plus it’s just the kind thing to do.
#6 If the party is at a home, take a small gift such as a favorite jam, bottle of wine, ornament, fancy soap, etc. This can be under $5. It is truly the thought that counts. Be sure to put a little tag/card on there. It can be left for them to open later. (From experience, it is SUCH a treat to find a little gift after all the guests leave!)
#7 Email or write a note to the host and/or organizers to say thanks.
Do you have an interview coming up using Zoom or Skype? Here are some insider tips to help you ace the interview:
Set up early: Plan on being in the space for your interview about an hour early if possible. Do all the checks mentioned below, and get used to the space. Restart your device prior to the interview especially if you don’t regularly restart it.
Water: Have water handy in a nice glass (not a water bottle) or mug or cup.
Height of camera: The camera should be higher than you think at first. You don't want to be looking down at the camera. Put the computer or phone on books or reams of paper to make the camera at eye level or slightly higher.
Lighting: Try out different lighting. Sunlight is best but see if there are different lamps that can help. Place a lamp without the shade behind the camera so that the light is on your face. If it is centered on you and the camera, shadows will be minimized.
Dress: Wear solid colors on top. Avoid distracting prints and big jewelry. As tempting as it may be to wear shorts or pajamas on the bottom half, don’t do it. You know that as sure as you do this, something will happen where you have to get up. Feel free to wear something dark and stretchy that will help you feel comfortable, though.
Practice: Ask yourself a question and answer it while recording it. Then listen and watch. Check for visual and sound. When a client of mine from Tennessee interviewed for a position in New York City, I recommended that she minimize any words (y’all) or pronunciations that might make her sound too Southern. I am from the South and proud of it, and while we have to be ourselves, future employers are seeking clues on whether you will be a good fit. (By the way, she did get the job!)
Background: Check for distractions in the background. Solid, light colors are best for the wall behind you. Make sure other devices are off or silenced, and that any alarms or animals won’t be a problem. If you are in a public area or in an office, put a sign on the door, “Do not disturb. I am on a conference call.”
Look at camera: Put a little sticky note close to the camera with a smiley face. This is to remind you to look at the camera, not at the screen. Your instinct will be to look at the person’s eyes on the screen, but if you look at the camera, the interviewers will feel like you are looking at them.
Expression: Be aware of your expression. You don’t want to look sour or stressed, but you also don’t want to look like a grinning Cheshire cat. Check out your “listening face” when you are recording yourself.
Makeup for women: If you are makeup wearer, great; just don’t overdo it. If you normally don’t wear makeup, wear a little for the camera; a little mascara and a light color on the lips will go a long way.
Answering questions: Sometimes, we have a slight processing delay when listening to online conversations. A great way to give you time to process questions is to start the answer with part of the question. This will minimize "ughs." So, if the question is "What is the favorite part of your current job?" You say, "I enjoy so many parts of my job at Santa’s Toy Company. My favorite part, though, is seeing the elves’ faces when they realize we have manufactured exactly what the children asked Santa for.” In other words, before you say, “the elves’ faces,” you have the opportunity to put the sentence together in your brain.
Questions for the interviewer: Have a few questions written down on paper to the side of your device on your dominant side.
Take notes: Feel free to take a few notes when the other people are talking. Write on the paper that is to the side of your camera on your dominant side.
Finishing up: They will likely say, "Is there anything else?" or "Do you have any other questions?" or my all-time favorite, “Is there anything you were hoping I would ask/cover that I didn’t?” At that point, you say something like, “Let me double check.” Then flip your pages in your notebook and see if they have covered everything; while looking at your pages for between 2 to 6 seconds, don’t say anything. This shows that you are thorough and that you are confident enough that a tiny bit of silence doesn’t phase you one bit. It also buys you a few seconds to think. Don’t go over 10 seconds though. Try to keep it between 2 and 6 seconds of a pause.
Skype photo: If you using Skype, make sure your photo is appropriate for professional purposes.
Time: Double and triple check the time difference. Write it on your calendar in both time zones with the correct labels so that you can double check later as needed. Once I reversed the times for an interview accidentally, so the call came two hours earlier than I expected. Learn from my mistake!
Follow up: Email a thank you within a few hours, and send a handwritten one if possible depending on your industry.
Practice: In addition to practicing for yourself, sign up for a free practice interview via Zoom with someone who can give you objective feedback.
When I first discovered iTunes, I compiled playlists for rainy days, busy days, and stressful days. I sent playlists to friends - one going through a divorce and one parting with treasures at her Connecticut tag sale. Maybe you are going through a change. This song is for you in this moment. Depending on your age, your first exposure to this song was either in the seventies or in Shrek II. Enjoy Changes by David Bowie!
Happy International Kindness Day. I pulled on my favorite suit pants today and reached for the matching jacket. Then, I remembered seeing a Facebook post that recommended that we wear cardigan sweaters today in honor of Mr. Rogers, the king of kindness. I like that Mr. Rogers infused his show with kindness but didn’t steer clear of controversy. We have all seen the picture of Mr. Rogers with his pants rolled up sharing a kiddie pool with his African American friend in a time when that simple act seemed outrageous to some folks. My recommendation for today is to be kind. And, if you can muster the courage, find a way to be kind in an unexpected, maybe even controversial, way.
Trying to figure out why you ran every day with your friend, but when she moved, your running shoes became planters? Take the Four Tendencies Quiz by Gretchen Rubin to learn more about how to get yourself to do what you want to do and need to do. Having this insight will set you up for more success. You can also begin thinking about others’ tendencies for a more harmonious home and workplace. Check out Gretchen’s books, especially Better Than Before and The Four Tendencies .
Here is a simple way to mark the transition from morning work to afternoon work. Keep a scent in your desk drawer. After lunch dab the tiniest bit under your nose. This scent reminds your brain that you have afternoon work to complete. No afternoon drowsies allowed.
My favorites are Tocca Florence and Bulgari’s Omnia Coral.
If you are a teacher, try standing at the classroom door after lunch with a few scented chapsticks. Give each student the opportunity to put a dot of chapstick on the back of her hand or on her wrist. The older students may think it’s funny at first, but once they see the benefit of a peppermint whiff during the PowerPoint in the dark room, they will thank you!
I LOVE PODCASTS. They are perfect for commutes. If you haven’t jumped on the podcast bandwagon, please pull yourself out from under the rock and begin asking friends and colleagues about their favorites and how to listen. I love that most podcasts are dropped on specific days, so I organize my mornings and afternoons with podcasts, and I fill in with books and phone calls in the other spaces.
Here is my podcast routine:
Monday morning: A Little Happier with Gretchen Rubin. These are very short podcasts — five minutes or less. Aside from the fact that many of the episodes start with kitty litter ads (Who wants to think about cat poop first thing on Monday morning?), I absolutely love them. They are often cerebral with quotes or big thoughts. What a great way to start the week.
Tuesday morning: We Love You (and So Can You) with Kristin Meinzer and Jolenta Greenberg. This podcast focuses on a guest shares who shares a problem or situation with Kristin and Jolenta. The two podcasters “draw on [their] extensive knowledge of self-help to provide a prescription of wellness practices, creative activities, media consumption, and more, which the guest follows while we eavesdrop on their progress. The goal: for the guest to find the outstanding person who was there all along, and learn to love themselves more.”
Tuesday afternoon: Satellite Sisters with the Dolan sisters. These women have been in media for a dozen years or more, but I just discovered them since starting my commute. Lian, Julie, and Liz Dolan dish about the news, trends, their own lives, and advice. More often than not, I expel a snort of a laugh. They remind me of the humorous conversations that the women in my family have, except they have a bigger audience and get paid for it!
Wednesday morning: Happier with Gretchen Rubin and Elizabeth Craft. This sister pair are smooth podcasters with different personalities making for an entertaining session on how to be happier, more creative, and more productive. Gretchen is the first blogger I regularly followed, and I am one of her super-fans. I look forward to seeing her in person for the second time this fall during her “Happier Hour.” Have you read her books?
Thursday morning: Happier in Hollywood with Liz Craft and Sarah Fain, a TV writing team. Ostensibly, the podcast is for writers in Hollywood. I love it anyway! When super specific Hollywood writer topics come up, I fast forward, but when they talk about the workplace, creativity, self care, or writing in general, I pay attention...and often laugh along.
Thursday afternoon: By the Book with Kristin Meinzer and Jolenta Greenberg. Kristin and Jolenta, after reading a specific self-help book, live “by the book” for two weeks — recording their wins and their challenges. Sometimes I listen or read the books they live by, but even if I don’t, I love listening to their adventures. Their husbands get roped into the fun, and every episode includes some laughs and/or tears.
On the weekends, I usually don’t drive to work, but while running errands or walking Leo, I do enjoy the podcast Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me. I love a good gameshow that includes interesting personalities and humor.
What podcasts do you enjoy? Please email me with your favorites. And, if you are not a podcast fan right now, let’s get you started! Listen to podcasts!
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On Day 13 of my self-quarantining and social distancing, I felt the urge to write an essay called, “Today I Will Cry.” I was in a funk. Two weeks seemed long enough, but the strange times were continuing.
Today is Day 21, April Fool’s Day. I woke up with the urge to write, “Today I Will Laugh.”
Our traditional family joke was to wake up the kids saying, “Look outside. There’s been a freak snow storm!” This was funniest when we lived in Memphis and Birmingham. In Maine, it wasn’t so funny because we actually had a blizzard one year on April 1. I haven’t seen or heard any jokes today. Maybe the times are too serious for any pranks., but surely a little laughter is good medicine even during these challenging times.
April Fool’s Day is a great day to laugh, so I have compiled some resources you might enjoy if you desire a chuckle or two on this minor holiday. It really is okay (and recommended) that you laugh each day during the #stayhome and #socialdistance times.
I love cartoons and essays in the New Yorker. Check out their humor page this week for an alternate way to think about these times.
When I walk Leo, the dog, I often listen to podcasts. My favorite humorous podcast is Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend. I love Conan’s self-deprecating humor as well as the hyperbole about his stardom, popularity, education and more.
When I asked daughter Elizabeth what she goes to when she wants a laugh, she immediately said, Schitt’s Creek, a fabulous show with Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara, and more. You can find it on Netflix.
Sometimes, going to Youtube can be the best way to get a laugh. Try out Ellen with Gladys, her funniest guest ever and the Carol Burnett dentist skit with Harvey Korman and Tim Conway. It still holds up after all these years!
I love listening to David Sedaris reading any of his essays or books, but if you want a quick laugh, check out his reading of one of his funniest (slightly inappropriate) essays on the David Letterman Show.
If you are housebound with children and need something humorous with them close by, my standby is Mahna Mahna from 1969 and Pee Wee Herman’s Breakfast Machine.
For an oldie, but goodie, that the whole family might enjoy, check out Red Skelton’s participation in a eurhythmics class (ballet) in the 1944 movie, Bathing Beauty. Skelton’s character is enrolled as a student in a women’s college, and the college administrators want him to leave, so they put him in this class. The first part of the clip sets up the story for the funniest antics that begin at 5:15. To top it off, Skelton is a good dancer!
Last, but not least, enjoy some laughter yoga exercises. Yes, you heard me, here is a whole new way of thinking about yoga.
No matter what, I wish for you a little laughter on this April 1.
P.S. Daughter Rebecca texted while I was editing this to tell me it was snowing. It wasn’t. April Fool’s!