Post #18 of 40
Giving Up Living With Pets
In my last post, I wrote about our dog, Leo, the attack he endured, and his death a few months later. Today, I want to share with you the period of time after Leo’s death when we had no pets.
We had never lived without pets until the February 2022.
We married at the end of 1986 and returned from our honeymoon a week later in the year 1987. Oddly enough, we left from the “old” Nashville Airport and arrived in the new one. Tom and I brought to the marriage three pets - his guinea pigs, Porky and Beanie and my cat Muffin (joint custody with my sister). We started out as a family of five. Our pet to human ratio varied over the years. Our precious dogs, Delta and Charlotte and Leo, gave us so much joy. Each one was special and just the right dog for the situation at the time. We got Charlotte when Delta was getting old, and we got Leo when Rebecca moved to Turkey and Charlotte was still fairly young. We didn’t get an overlap dog when we knew Leo was toward the end.
After Leo died, I was in deep grief. Delta was a couple dog; Charlotte was a family dog, and Leo…well, we all loved him, but he was my dog.
I told Tom that I thought we should wait until summer before getting another dog, and he said we should wait at least a year, maybe longer.
I decided to call this period of time without animals - my Rumspringa. A rumspringa is a time in an Amish person’s life, when as a teen, s/he leaves the community and experiences life in a non-Amish way. At the end of the rumspringa, the Amish teen decides whether to return to the community or leave. With no disrespect to the Amish, I set out to experience my own Rumspringa, life in a non-dog-owning way.
Here is what I did on my Rumspringa:
Swimming Lessons - I am a water person, and even if I know how to swim, why not get better, have the advice of an expert, and have a set time every week when I am expected to swim?
Colonoscopy - I knew the importance of having a colonoscopy. Colonoscopies save lives. Is it time for you to have yours?
Assisted with multiple retreats/workshop at Kripalu in Massachusetts - I loved assisting Aruni for several programs. I learned so much, and I was able to serve others - that’s important to me.
Attended “BLOOM” at MFA in Boston - A friend from college who grew up in Nashville now lives in Boston, just an hour away from. How wonderful to visit the Museum of Fine Arts at a relaxed pace with no concern for a pet.
Officiated a wedding in Florida - and flew to Nashville to drive my mom to/fro - I loved officiating my niece’s wedding. Driving to Jacksonville, Florida from Nashville and then back wasn’t as much fun as the actual event, but I am so glad we could do this without the expense of a dog-sitter.
Went to Thomas’s 2-year late graduation in Portland, Oregon - COVID messed so much up, including the graduations of our three kids. In the spring of 2020, Thomas received his BA from Reed College; Elizabeth graduated from New England Law with her Juris Doctor, and Rebecca got her master’s degree from the University of Freiburg. In June of 2022, Tom and I were able to attend a real graduation ceremony, complete with the rain that is Portland.
Took an Alaskan cruise to celebrate 35th anniversary (6 months late) - Alaska was on our list of places to go, and when I stepped onto the land from our ship, it was my 50th state to visit!
Visited with 3 of my bridesmaids in person and 1 on Facetime. I mourned the loss of the fifth My roommate, friend, and bridesmaid, Michelle, died during my Rumspringa. I found out while at Kripalu, and since she hadn’t wanted an obituary, I was determined to believe that she was alive, and it was just a rumor. I spent Monday digging and calling and emailing and texting. It was not a rumor. She really had died - way too young. I made time in the next few months to visit with the other four bridesmaids in person and on Facetime.
Planted my first community garden plot - Having a garden was also on our list of things to do. Having an outdoor place to go was lovely. We managed to grow a lot of tomatoes and a fair number of zucchini, but more importantly, the garden provided a meditative activity.
Almost all of my Rumspringa activities would have been a little harder if we had had a pet.
I continued to ache for a dog, and at the same time I tried to live in the moment and appreciate the dog-free days.
I noticed the difference between enjoy and joy.
I enjoyed my Rumspringa and the carefree ways we were able to do so much.
I did not have the deep joy in my life, though, that a dog provides for me.
I was giving up living with pets, but I knew this was temporary.
My heart ached.
My house was not a home.