Giving Up the Fast BookClub
Post #23 of 40
In 1996, our family of four moved to the Barr family farm in Blountville, Tennessee so that Tom could finish a book. When I phrased our move this way to people who didn’t know us well, they’d scratch their heads and wonder if Tom was a really…slow…reader….
Then they would realize that he was writing a book, not reading one.
I am a pretty fast reader - if I take the time to actually sit still and read. These days, I mostly listen to audiobooks. I’ve been in a variety of book clubs through the years, usually the kind that reads a book a month.
In contrast, one of my favorite book clubs - ever - discussed one book over sixteen months during 2012 and 2013.
With five other women, I sipped hot tea and discussed Geneen Roth’s Women, Food, and God: An Unexpected Path To Almost Everything the first Monday of every month until we finished the sixteen-chapter book. We were the Slowest Book Club Ever.
In between our monthly meetings, we emailed back and forth sharing news, photos, and the humorous antics in our lives. We lovingly called the book WFG in emails and occasionally WTF for What the Food.
At first, I made fun of the book club. I was embarrassed thinking someone might say, “What book are you reading this month?” And, my answer would always be the same. I realized within a few months the wisdom of this slow reading in the Slowest Book Club Ever.
Here are three reasons this slow reading worked for us and why I recommend you try out a Slowest Book Club Ever experience:
1. You have no excuses for not reading the book and there is no tolerance or forum for showing off.
Haven’t we all been in book clubs where hardly anyone finishes the book? No excuses were allowed for not reading a “chapter.” Most of us read the whole book within the first month or two, and we reviewed the chapter to be discussed before each meeting. We never felt any pressure to read ahead or to be the smartest, deepest person in the room.
A friend of mine recently shared her experience in one of these book-a-month bookclubs. Nancy is quite intellectual and has an Ivy League education. In her book club, Nancy made a comment about the book, Middlemarch. After hearing Nancy’s comment, one of the other book club members asked, “Is this your first 19th century British novel?”
Nancy, who wrote her thesis in Italian and has read many of the European classics in their original languages simply answered, “Yes.”
I told her she should have said it was the first book she had ever read, and that they shouldn’t shame her for learning to read as an adult.
Nancy is less sassy than I am.
In the SBCE, discussing one chapter at each meeting gave everyone a stage on which to shine. We shared “leading” each month, and no one dominated the conversations.
2. You can allow the book to “sink in.”
Women, Food, and God is all about how we see and connect to food, ourselves, and God. WFG is for people who want to understand the deeper context of food and hunger in our lives. Discussing the whole book in one sitting would have taken us on the interstate instead of the scenic route. This slow read allowed us to see a lot more of ourselves and God than we anticipated. We took time to question, laugh, cry, object, and synthesize.
I look back at my notes from the first meeting, and I realize I thought the book was a bunch of bologna. I continued attending the meetings and reading the book, and I eventually accepted some of Geneen Roth’s wisdom. I also realized, with a little help from my SBCE buddies, that I may have a bit of “oppositional defiant disorder” when reading self-help books. I am quick to say, “I don’t agree with that,” but the women didn’t let me get by with my ODD attitudes after the first or second meeting. I had to actually think through the chapter, Roth’s ideas, and say more about any objections I had.
3. The discipline of SBCE tracks and supports members’ changes and growth.
When our SBCE started, I knew only one of the members. After sixteen months, we were close. To begin the monthly meeting, we would “check in.” How many people do you have in your life who ask you how you are and really want to know? During the sixteen months, our group of six faced some significant life changes - house move, 50th birthday, child moving to boarding school, significant job change, divorce, sex life reawakened, one spouse with a stroke and another in a car wreck, and the inevitable weight loss and weight gain.
The purpose of our SBCE was not to deal with all of these issues or to solve all the problems, and we didn’t. We did, however, reserve a sacred space where these changes could be shared and held.
Slowest Book Club Ever is the type of book club that works well for busy people who want to continue personal growth and connect with others.
St. Martin’s Episcopal Church, has its own version of SBCE - a chapter a week, led by The Reverend Linda Mackie Griggs, my wise friend and colleague. (Additionally, we look remarkably alike!) Reading a chapter a week was Linda’s idea, not mine - great minds! I fully support the book group, assist with it, and read the assigned chapter. Our last book was Braiding Sweetgrass, and we met via Zoom from April 2022 to February 2023. Our next SBCE will begin after Lent.
I don’t think I will ever go back to the fast book clubs.
Give me a good book, interesting people, and one chapter at a time.