Post #14 of 40
Giving Up Selflessness
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' there is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30-31
Last night, Tom and I went to Cindy and Ian’s house for dinner. We’ve known and loved them for over thirty-five years. Tom and I made a lemon bundt cake for dessert, and Cindy and Ian did the rest. When we lived in the South, we made a point to visit them whenever we headed north - whether we were checking out colleges with the kids or spending a summer in Ithaca. Now that we live in New England, we can see them much more often.
The Lemon Bundt Cake was delicious. We used Greek yogurt instead of sour cream and olive oil for the “neutral oil.”
Click here for the recipe.
Because of COVID and a host of other challenges, we hadn’t seen them for three years. We had a lot of catching up to do last night.
Tom and I describe them as “our people.” They are comfortable, unpretentious, and highly educated. They are witty conversationalists, gracious hosts, and wine connoisseurs. Any meal at their home is accompanied by an interesting wine or two.
Cindy and Ian retired a few years ago after long and dedicated careers. During their retirement trip, Ian developed a health issue, which continues to affect their everyday activities.
At dinner last night, my Lenten Challenge came up, and I asked Cindy if she had any ideas. She said, “Giving Up Selflessness.” She explained that in the early days after Ian’s health issue emerged, she committed herself to Ian completely - every waking moment was about him and his healing and his care. She tired of people saying, “Take care of yourself,” and said at one point she fantasized about kicking the next person who said that to her.
At some point she started thinking about the verse in Mark that says we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. With a twinkle in her eye, she said, “The Bible doesn’t say ‘Love your neighbor instead of yourself.’”
Eventually, she took the advice of her friends to heart, and now she exercises upstairs in what she calls her “torture chamber,” takes Mahjong lessons, plays pickleball, and reads over a 100 books a year.
Today, Cindy takes care of herself and Ian and says she has given up selflessness.
Her message to others, at the risk of being kicked by those not ready to listen is “Take care of yourself.”